Place your order by clicking things until you feel the appropriate level of regret. Add your chosen pieces to the cart, checkout like a responsible adult, and enter your shipping info carefully — or live with the consequences.

Only if you’re fast enough. Orders start moving through our system almost immediately. If you realize you made a catastrophic mistake, email support@quaaludes.com immediately. If your order hasn’t shipped yet, we’ll try to help. If it has already shipped... well, enjoy your new shirt.

First, check your spam folder. That's where good things go to die. If it’s not there, email us with your name and the approximate time you ordered. We’ll track it down like bloodhounds on a scent.

Nope. Once you check out, the order is locked in like a bad tattoo. If you forgot something, you'll have to place a new order. It's faster than emailing us 14 times and hoping for a miracle.

If you realize it fast enough, email support@quaaludes.com immediately. If your package hasn’t shipped yet, we might be able to fix it. If it has already shipped, your best bet is bribing your old neighbors or camping out at your previous address.

Only within Europe. No exceptions. If your delivery address isn’t somewhere with a questionable 70s nightclub in driving distance, we can't help you yet.

Processing takes 1–3 business days. Shipping typically takes 3–7 business days across Europe. Remote areas might take longer. Customs rarely interfere, but life is unpredictable — like a flaming cocktail at 3AM.

Absolutely. Once your order ships, you’ll get a tracking number by email. Refresh it obsessively if you like. Just know that sometimes tracking updates slower than your uncle's 90s modem.

If your order boomerangs back to us because you entered the wrong address, refused delivery, or your mailbox declared war on us, we'll refund the item (minus shipping costs).

Want it resent? You'll have to pay for shipping again. No hard feelings — just hard logistics.

Not yet. We're building a brand, not running a Formula 1 pit crew. Right now, standard shipping is your only option. Wear your patience like a badge of honor.

You have 30 days from delivery to return eligible items. They must be unworn, unwashed, and still carrying the faint scent of bad decisions, not actual damage. Full details are on our Returns page — you should definitely read it before trying anything funny.

We don’t do direct exchanges. Return the wrong size for a refund, and place a new order for the right one. This isn’t 1998. Systems move fast, adapt accordingly.

No. This isn’t a rental service. We know the tricks, and we’re immune to "I only wore it for five minutes" sob stories.

Wrap it in something protective and ship it back. We don't need the original bag — just the item itself in returnable condition. Bonus points if it doesn't smell like regret or a three-day music festival.

Cry a little. Then accept it. We’re strict on the 30-day limit because otherwise returns become a free-for-all. If you miss the window, frame the item on your wall as a reminder to move faster next time.

We design everything to fit like the 70s felt: a little dangerous but strangely comforting. Most items fit true to size unless otherwise noted. Check the size guide if you want to avoid existential crises.

Maybe. Maybe not. Some pieces are like comets: rare, unpredictable, and best witnessed live. If you love something, don't hesitate. The odds of restock are lower than your favorite band getting back together.

We make things to last — and if you treat your Quaaludes gear right, it might outlive you. Sustainability isn’t a slogan here. It’s common sense. Fast fashion is for amateurs.

Only if you treat it like an enemy. Wash cold, hang dry if you love it. Blast it with boiling water and high heat if you hate joy. Basic physics, basic loyalty.

Always plotting, rarely announcing. We don’t do traditional seasons. We drop when it feels right — and usually without warning. If you’re waiting for a specific piece, sign up for our emails. Or meditate on patience. Both work.

We accept major credit cards, PayPal, and whatever cursed digital wallet you’re using this month. All payments are secure, encrypted, and monitored for weirdness.

Safer than driving home from a 70s disco at 4AM. Our checkout is SSL encrypted and PCI compliant. If someone steals your card, it won’t be because of us.

Your bank probably thinks you’re making a questionable life choice. (They’re right.) Try another card or contact your bank to tell them it's just fashion, not fraud. Or switch banks. Loyalty goes both ways.

No. This isn’t 1972, and we’re not dealing in sketchy motel transactions. All orders must be paid online at checkout — card, PayPal, or trusted digital wallet only.

Because we're not cowards. We believe in reviving the unfiltered spirit of the 70s — the chaos, the glam, the reckless optimism — and bottling it into clothing. If you know, you know.

Not yet. When we do, they’ll come loaded with the same reckless energy as our clothes. Until then, the best gift you can give is a stolen hoodie.

If you're a creative lunatic who gets the brand at a cellular level, maybe. Reach out to support@quaaludes.com with your pitch. Just don’t send us a PDF that starts with "Dear Sir/Madam" — we’ll set it on fire.

Email us anytime at support@quaaludes.com. We answer real human questions with real human sarcasm.