Quaalude Toddler Blanket

The Quaalude Toddler Blanket is 76 × 102 cm of soft fleece and questionable judgment—just the way parenting actually goes.

Bright white, suspiciously cozy, and stamped edge-to-edge with an oversized Quaaludes prescription label. The dosage? Unclear. The vibe? Unmistakable. This is the toddler blanket for adults who’ve traded in parenting books for brand loyalty and dark humor.

Perfect for naps, tantrums, or folding neatly over a stroller while pretending everything’s under control. It’s not just soft—it’s a soft cry for help, wrapped in vintage pharmaceutical aesthetics. Whether it’s keeping your kid warm or keeping you sane, this blanket delivers comfort and chaos in equal measure.

Machine washable. Emotionally loaded. Designed for sleep, sarcasm, and staying unbothered in public.

The Quaalude Toddler Blanket. For tiny humans. And the very tired ones raising them.